A Year Gone By

One year ago today, I was having an IR drain removed, being readmitted to the hospital, ultimately removing my jpouch, and receiving a permanent ileostomy.  The nervousness about the situation, it's direness, and pain that went with it was truly the most trying time in my life.  I typically don't honor anniversaries with nary a nod, as I feel each day is it's own celebration, but somehow, this feels slightly different.  The severity of how sick I was, the time pulling through ICU, and the long recovery even after returning home has kept my mind quite busy over the past few weeks.


Life has returned to normal - at least what we consider normal, and we spend more time looking forward than looking backwards or looking into just the next day or the next week.  I have little regret about the decision to moving to a permanent ileostomy and have been able to do all the things I had done before - including being less tied to a bathroom.  Bike riding, working out, even rock climbing - and other than making sure I've emptied my bag, there is no urgency and "Uh oh", and more focus on the tasks at hand.

I thank all the family and friends that helped me through the past two years, and most importantly, my wife who has been with me through the thick of it all.  As much as I love to write, I find it unnecessary to send updates as frequently as I had (as can be easily seen from the past few months) and usually don't have much to say except that things continue to be well.  I hope that this finds those that are suffering through their own personal trials on a road to recovery or a bit of peace.

A New Year

This is the time of year when people seem to make some promise to themselves or others to somehow turnover a new leaf, do the things they didn't do the year before, or get on (or off) a given "wagon".  I've often wondered how this simple switch of a digit generates some sort of magic to make things so different.  Being close to the finance and retail industries, I see how this can affect bottom lines, possibly compensation, but nothing more than dollar signs, and not necessarily for those waiting for that "magic".

At the end of the day, the magic isn't date related, somehow driven by a crystal ball falling on top of a building, or thousands of drunkards gathered in the freezing cold.  It is driven by our own desire, the need for something different masked by the hope that we can be driven by something greater than our own will.  We hope the new year will somehow wash away days, weeks, months of excuses from the prior year and we will be revitalized with new vigor to put them all at bay.

We do not need to wait for that mythical moment to make a change, to make a difference, to change our outlook.  We have the power every day to make it happen, to leave those excuses behind.  If it's good enough to have as a resolution on January 1st, it's good enough to have on June 12th.  Take advantage of the time you have and make the most of each day - you only get so many of them.  Don't dwell on the things you don't/won't do, it only saps your energy.

Clear your mind of those things gone by
You can't change the past, why even try
You can build upon all you've learned
You can start today.
- Lifeson