Decisions, Decisions

We've come to find out that the pain in the buttock is now related to an infection due to the bleed out from yesterday.  This is a completely new problem area separate from the abscess and one that has many of us intrigued.  The assumption is there was a build up of blood as a result of the bleeding from yesterday and my body couldn't handle the cleanup.  The pain has been excruciating and sitting is non-existent.  I'm taking my morphine the minute I can get it, but it only cuts it for about 90 minutes before setting back in.

I've begun to also show a fever that is starting to rise, mainly due to the infection in the buttock that seems to be brewing up quite a storm.  Infectious Disease (ID) doctors were in today to talk about the infection, but at this point, we don't know what type of infection it is.  They've run some blood cultures today to try and see what type so we can apply an appropriate antibiotic to try and deal with it.  They are going to start throwing the kitchen sink at me to try and keep it at bay.

My colorectal surgeon was also in today to discuss the options about the jpouch and the abscess.  We've been fighting with this since takedown last November, and trying to get it to heal while we are using it is an unlikely battle to be won at this point.  His preference is to pull up a temporary ileostomy, take care of the abscess, restitch the portion of the pouch that led to the sinus and let it all heal.  This would require at least two more surgeries, similar to what had happened last year:  The temporary ileostomy and then the reversal.

I know this is not my only option, as I can pull the trigger today and just go for a permanent ileostomy.  Many weeks ago I had reserved myself to this possibility, as I do not care for another year of surgeries, possible issues, recovery, and so on.  Life is passing me and my family by too quickly.  I had mentioned at one point that I was "committed to saving the jpouch", which at that time, I was.  Having gone through the last 7 months of roller coaster healing, the medications, the enemas, the steroids; I'm not sure I'm still that committed to this jpouch.  (In all reality, I knew this was a possibility when I was in college and investigating having my colon removed then.  This was not a new realization and one I had thought about for many, many years.)

Surgery is not until tomorrow night, so I'm going to sleep on it.  I still have discussions upcoming with my wonderful wife and my ostomy nurse:  The two women who have spent the last year taking care of me in one way or another.  My wife, the constant rock who seems unfazed by anything that gets thrown at us, whether it be a new issue, a new wound to pack, a new drain to clean:  She may not be a nurse, but she can handle anything in our household.  I truly am the luckiest man in the world.